Practically every teen slasher cliché is hammered into submission in SWEET 16. SWEET 16 is just a catalogue of jaw droppingly bad moments a veritable box of cheesy bon bons an embarrassment of cheesy riches no less! The majority of the cast look thoroughly mortified throughout the movie mortified that is that they agreed to take part that is! Their horror as they wave goodbye to their careers, skidding out of control in front of their very eyes, is translated into a bunch of awkward,stilted performances (bar Hopkins- who seems to be having a little bit of fun) that couldn’t possibly get any more wooden. SWEET 16 brazenly starts as it means to go on in dementedly lurid fashion- a tarot card spelling death cuts to Melissa (Aleisa Shirley) lovingly lathering up her arse -in a surprisingly gratuitous, and lengthy, shower and steam session and then on, with nary a nod to rhyme nor reason, to bar room brawl where a local red Indian beat seven shades of crap out of two racist rednecks. The question on everyone’s lips: Will Melissa be cutting more than her cake? And time is running out! It is fast approaching Melissa’s sixteenth birthday and the party being thrown for her by her Mother ( to cheer up the locals after all those icky murders), increasingly looks like it will provide the back drop for the petit guginol finale. The local Sheriff (Bo Hopkins- who it seems was typecast to the point of absurdity in the early 80’s) and his two kids Hank and Marci (the talently challenged Dana Kimmel), set out to discover the identity of the mad slasher- in a desperate race against time, as the local teenage boys start dropping like flies. Their adulation is quickly cut short by the appearance of a mysterious knife wielding maniac who cuts to ribbons any boy that takes a shine to dear Melissa- an inconvenience that initially merits barely a pout from her. Melissa, a fifteen year old wild child, moves to a small Texas town with her parents (the suitably embarrassed looking Patrick Macnee and Susan Strasberg), whilst Macnee completes work on a dig up at an ol’ Indian burial ground- Uh Huh, that old chestnut! Melissa soon becomes a hit with the local boys, who swoon in her wake- quite literally. A film so impressively bad that if it got any riper you’d run the risk of catching listeria from watching it!. Hey! I think I’ve just had my first cheesegasm!- it may not be very pleasant, and it may ultimately be a hollow experience, but by gum was it fun whilst it lasted! And this object of my berserk dairy delirium is none other than Jim Sotos’ cheerfully sleazy 1982 cinematic abomination SWEET 16. "I'd say we've got a real bona fide nut running around!" Is the uninvited guest! A masterful mystery with a surprise twist ending!" Reaches it's terrifying conclusion at Melissa's SWEET SIXTEEN- where death The town accuses the local Indians and erupts in race riots. ThenĬame Melissa's next boyfriend- and the sheriff must find the murderer before Johnny Franklin, the younger brother of the bigoted local hell raiser.
Problem: all of Melissa's boyfriends seem to end up dead! First there was Young men who would love to join her for some summer fun. So, Melissa is left with a single recourse- all the The town have left her out of their activities. Spending her sixteenth summer in a small Texas town while her archaeologistįather directs a dig at a nearby Indian burial ground. She's a sensual big-city girl who is stuck Of a small town, an ancient Indian curse, and a psychotic killer on the SUSAN STRASBERG, BO HOPKINS (TENTACLES), and PATRICK MACNEE (THEĪVENGERS) star in this baffling mystery that focuses on the racial tensions On the startling events surrounding a beautiful young girl's sixteenthīirthday.
"This sensational suspense thriller centers Starring: Bo Hopkins, Susan Strasberg, Patrick Macnee, Don Stroud, Sharon Farrell, Dana Kimmell, Aleisha Shirley, Larry Storch, "Why are all the boys dying to meet Melissa?"
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